> • Honest SPEC, Middle-Temple, June 24. I am very glad to hear that thou beginneft to prate; and find, by thy yesterday's vifion, thou art so used to it, that thou canst not forbear talking in thy fleep. Let me only advise thee to speak like ' other men, for I am afraid thou wilt be very queer, if thou doft not intend to use the phrases in fashion, as thou callest them in thy fecond paper. • Hast thou a mind to pass for a Bantamite, or to make us all Qikers? I do assure thee, dear SPEC, ' I am not polished out of my veracity, when I fub• scribe myself No. 561. WEDNESDAY, JUNE 30. -Paulatim abolere Sichæum Incipit, et vivo tentat prævertere amore Jampridem refides animos defuetaque corda, But he VIRG. Æn. i. ver. 724. Works in the pliant bofom of the fair, And moulds her heart anew, and blots her former care. The dead is to the living love refign'd, SIR, DRYDEN. I AM a tall, broad-shouldered, impudent, black • fellow, and, as I thought, every way qualifi• ed for a rich widow: but, after having tried my • fortune for above three years together, I have not • been able to get one single relict in the mind. My • first attacks were generally fsuccessful, but always C3 • broke 'ment. broke off as foon as they came to the word fettleThough I have not improved my fortune this way, I have my experience, and have learned feveral fecrets which may be of use to those unhappy gentlemen, who are commonly diftinguished by the name of widow-hunters, and who do not know ' that this tribe of women are, generally speaking, • as much upon the catch as themselves. I shall here < communicate to you the mysteries of a certain fe' male cabal of this order, who call themselves the Widow-Club. This club confifts of nine experienced dames, who take their places, once a week, • round a large oval table. • I. Mrs. President is a person who has disposed of fix husbands, and is now determined to take a seventh; being of opinion, that there is as much virtue in the touch of a seventh husband as of a • seventh fon. Her comrades are as follow: • II. Mrs. Snap, who has four jointures by four She • different bed-fellows of four different fhires. › is at present upon the point of marriage with a • Middlesex man, and is faid to have an ambition of • extending her poffeffions through all the counties• in England, on this fide the Trent. • III.. Mrs. Medlar, who, after two husbands and • a gallant, is now wedded to an old gentlemen of ، fixty. Upon her making her report to the club, • after a week's cohabitation, she is still allowed to ، fit as a widow, and accordingly takes her place at ⚫ the board. IV. The widow Quick, married within a fort• night after the death of her last husband. Her • weeds have served her thrice, and are still as good as new. V. Lady Katharine Swallow. She was a wi• dow at eighteen, and has since buried a fecond husband and two coachmen. • VI. The Lady Waddle. She was married in • the fifteenth year of her age to Sir Simon Waddle, • knight, • knight, aged threescore and twelve, by whom the • had twins nine months after his decease. In the • fifty-fifth year of her age the was married to James 6 Spindle, Efq; a youth of one-and-twenty, who did • not out-live his honey-moon. • VII. Deborah Conquest. The cafe of this Lady • is something particular. She is the relict of Sir • Sampson Conquest, sometime justice of the Quorum. • Sir Sampson was feven feet high, and two feet in • breadth from the tip of one shoulder to the other. He had married three wives, who all of them died ⚫ in child-bed. This terrified the whole fex, who none of them durst venture on Sir Sampson. At • length Mrs. Deborah undertook him, and gave fo good an account of him, that in three years time the very fairly laid him out, and measured his length upon the ground. This exploit has gained her fo great a reputation in the club, that they have added • Sir Sampson's three victories to hers, and give her the • merit of a fourth widowhood; and the takes her ⚫ place accordingly. 6 VIII. The widow Wildfire, relict of Mr. John • Wildfire, fox-hunter, who broke his neck over a fix• bar gate. She took his death so much to heart, ⚫ that it was thought it would have put an end to • her life, had the not diverted her forrows by re• ceiving the addresses of a gentleman in the neigh. bourhood, who made love to her in the second • month of her widow-hood. This gentleman was • discarded in a fortnight, for the fake of a young • Templar, who had the poffeffion of her for fix • weeks after, until he was beaten out by a broken officer, who-likewife gave up his place to a gentleman at court. The courtier was as short-lived a • favourite as his predeceffors, but had the pleasure • to fee himself fucceeded by a long feries of lovers, • who followed the widow Wildfire to the thirty-fe• venth year of her age, at which time there ensued • a ceffation of ten years, when John Felt, haber• dasher, 6 • dasher, took it in his head to be in love with her, • and it is thought will very fuddenly carry her off. IX. The last is pretty Mrs. Runnet, who broke • her first husband's heart before the was fixteen, at • which time she was entered of the club, but foon • after left it, upon account of a second, whom the • made fo quick a dispatch of, that the returned to ⚫ her feat in less than a twelvemonth. This young matron is looked upon as the most rifing member • of the society, and will probably be in the prefi• dent's chair before the dies. • These Ladies, upon their first institution, re• solved to give the pictures of their deceased huf• bands to the club-room, but two of them bringing ' in their dead at full length, they covered all the • walls: upon which they came to a fecond refolution, that every matron should give her own picture, and fet it round with her husbands in miniature. ، As they have most of them the misfortune to be ' troubled with the colic, they have a noble cellar of cordials and strong waters. When they grow maudlin, they are very apt to commemorate their < former partners with a tear. But afk them which • of their husbands they condole, they are not able ' to tell you, and discover plainly that they do not Sweep so much for the lofs of a husband as for the want of one. The principal rule, by which the whole society • are to govern themselves is this, to cry up the plea• fures of a fingle life upon all occafions, in order to ' deter the rest of their sex from marriage, and in** gross the whole male world to themselves. 6 They are obliged, when any one makes love to a • member of the fociety, to communicate his name, at which time the whole assembly fit upon his reputation, person, fortune, and good humour; and • if they find him qualified for a fifter of the club, they lay their heads together how to make him fure. By f ، • By this means they are acquainted with all the widow-hunters about town, who often afford them great diversion. There is an honest Irish gentleman, it seems, who knows nothing of this society, ' but at different times has made love to the whole ' club. Their conversation often turns upon their former husbands, and it is very diverting to hear them relate their several arts and stratagems, with which • they amused the jealous, pacified the choleric, or • wheedled the good-natured man, until at last, to • use the club-phrase, They sent him out of the house ' with his heels foremost. • The politics which are most cultivated by this • fociety of the-Machiavels, relate chiefly to these two ' points, How to treat a lover, and how to manage ' a husband. As for the first set of artifices, they ' are too numerous to come within the compass of your paper, and shall therefore be referved for a ' second letter. • The management of a husband is built upon the • following doctrines, which are universally affented to by the whole club. Not to give him his head at first. Not to allow him too great freedoms and familiarities. Not to be treated by him like a raw 'girl, but as a woman that knows the world. Not to leffen any thing of her former figure. To ce'lebrate the generosity, or any other virtue of a deceafed husband, which the would recommend to his fucceffor. To turn away all his old friends and ' fervants, that she may have the dear man to her' felf. To make him diinherit the undutiful children of any former wife. Never to be thoroughly convinced of his affection, until he has made over ' to her all his goods and chattels. • After so long a letter, I am, without more ce(remony, • Your humble servant, &c.' FRIDAY, |