GARDINER.

I wonder his body was never found after the battle.

BUTLER.

Found! why, you fool, is not his body here about the houfe, dost thou think he can beat his drum without hands and arms?

COACHMAN.

'Tis master as sure as I stand here alive, and I verily believe I saw him last hight in the town-close.

GARDINER.

Ay! how did he appear?

DACHΜΑΝ.

Like a white horse.

BUTLER.

Pho, Robin, I tell you he has never appear'd yet but in the shape of the found of a drum.

COACHMAN.

This makes one almost afraid of one's own shadow. As I was walking from the stable t'other night without any lanthorn, I fell across a beam, that lay in my way, and faith my heart was in my mouth-I thought I had stumbled over a spirit.

BUTLER.

Thou might'st as well have stumbled over a straw; why, a spirit is such a little little thing, that I have heard a man, who was a great scholar, say, that he'll dance a Lancashire horn-pipe upon the point of a needle -As I fat in the pantry last night counting my spoons, the candle methought burnt blue, and the spay'd bitch jook'd as if she saw something.

COACHMAN.

Ay, poor cur, she's almost frighten'd out of her wits. GARDINER.

Ay, I warrant ye, she hears him many a time and often when we don't.

BUT

BUTLER.

My Lady must have him laid, that's certain, whatever it cost her.

GARDINER.

I fancy, when one goes to market, one might hear of fomebody that can make a spell..

COACHMAN.

Why may not the parson of our parish lay him?

BUTLER.

No, no, no, our parfon cannot lay him.

COACHΜΑΝ.

Why not he as well as another man?

BUTLER.

Why, ye fool, he is not qualified-he has not taken the oaths.

GARDINER.

Why, d'ye think, John, that the spirit would take the law of him?-faith, I could tell you one way to drive him off.

How's that?

COACHMAN.

GARDINER.

I'll tell you immediately [drinks] I fancy Mrs.

Abigal might scold him out of the house.

COACHΜΑΝ.

Ay, she has a tongue that would drown his drum, if any thing could.

BUTLER.

Pugh, this is all froth! you understand nothing of the matter the next time it makes a noise, I tell you what ought to be done, I would have the steward speak Latin to it.

COACHMAN

Ay, that would do, if the steward had but courage. GARDINER.

There you have it-He's a fearful man. If I had as much much learning as he, and I met the ghost, I'll tell him his own! but alack ! what can one of us poor men do with a spirit, that can neither write nor read ?

BUTLER.

Thou art always cracking and boasting, Peter; thou dost not know what mischief it might do thee, if such a filly dog as thee should offer to speak to it. For aught I know, he might flea thee alive, and make parchment of thy skin to cover his drum with.

GARDINER.

A fiddlestic! tell not me-I fear nothing; not I! I never did harm in my life, I never committed murder.

BUTLER.

I verily believe thee, keep thy temper, Peter; after supper we'll drink each of us a double mug, and then let cone what will.

GARDINER.

Why, that's well faid, John, an honest man that is not quite fober, has nothing to fear Here's to yewhy now if he should come this minute, here would I tand. Ha! what noise is that?

BUTLER and COACHΜΑΝ.

Ha! where?

GARDINER.

The devil! the devil! Oh no, 'tis Mrs. Abigal.
BUTLER.

Ay faith! 'tis she; 'tis Mrs. Abigal! a good mistake! *tis Mrs. Abigal.

Enter ABIGAL.

ABIGA L.

Here are your drunken fots for you! Is this a time to be guzzling when gentry are come to the house! why don't you lay your cloth? How come you out of the stables? Why are not you at work in your garden?

GARGARDINER.

Why, yonder's the fine Londoner and Madam fetching a walk together, and methought they look'd as if they should fay they had rather have my room than my company.

BUTLER.

And fo forsooth being all three met together, we are doing our endeavours to drink this same Drummer out of our heads.

GARDINER.

For you must know, Mrs. Abigal, we are all of opinion that one can't be a inatch for him, unless one be as drunk as a drum.

COACHMAN.

I am refolved to give Madam warning to hire herself another coachman; for I came to serve my master d'ye see, while he was alive, but do suppose that he has no further occafion for a coach, now he walks.

BUTLER.

Truly, Mrs. Abigal, I must needs say, that this same spirit is a very odd fort of a body, after all, to fright Madam and his old fervants at this rate.

GARDINER.

And truly, Mrs. Abigal, I must needs say, I served my master contentedly, while he was living: but I will ferve no man living, (that is, no man that is not living) without double wages.

BIGAL.

Ay, 'tis such cowards as you that go about with idle stories to disgrace the house, and bring so many strangers about it, you first frighten yourselves, and then your neighbours.

GARDINER.

Frighten'd! I scorn your word. Frighten'd quoth-a!
ABIGA L.

What, you fot! are you grown pot-valiant?

GARGARDINER.

Frighten'd with a drum! that's a good one! it will do us no harm, I'll answer for it. It will bring no bloodshed along with it, take my word. It sounds as like a train-band drum as ever I heard in my life.

BUTLER.

Prythee, Peter, don't be so presumptuous.

ABIGA L.

Well, these drunken rogues take it as I could wish.

GARDINER.

[Afide.

I scorn to be frightened, now I am in for't; if old Dub-a-dub should come into the room I would take him

BUTLER.

Prythee hold thy tongue.

GARDINER.

I would take him - [The drum beats, the Gardiner

endeavours to get off and falls.

BUTLER and COACHMAN.

Speak to it, Mrs. Abigal.

GARDINER.

Spare my life, and take all I have.

COACHMAN.

Make off, make off, good Butler, and let us go hide ourselves in the cellar.

ABIGAL fola.
ABIGA L.

[They run off.

So, now the coast is clear, I may venture to call out my Drummer. But first let me shut the door, left we be furpriz'd. Mr. Fantome, Mr. Fantome! [He beats.] Nay, nay, pray come out, the enemy's fled--I must speak with you immediately don't stay to beat a parley. [The buck Scene opens and discovers

Fantome with a drum.

FAN